Okay, I’ll admit it. I was afraid of trying the new ‘touchless Elephant Car Wash’ in Covington. There was no doubt in my mind that there would be lessons to be learned. I started off gently by going to the gas station. I have done that before, it is not usually difficult. Today, I got distracted by talking on the phone and temporarily forgot my mantra of ‘it’s not my gas’, which reminds me which side the fill is on. I already know that the card reader at the Arco does not like my debit card so I am doomed to go inside. I locked the car, paid for gas then returned to the car. I lift the nozzle only to realize that the fill is not on that side. Sure enough a car pulls in facing me. I hang the nozzle up and try to give her the universal hand signal for ‘hang-on-a-minute-I-need-to-back-up-and-pull-in-the-right-way so-I-can-pump-the-gas-I-just-paid-for”. She doesn’t get it and heads toward the pump where I have already paid for the gas. That is NOT going to happen. Once she sees my back up lights she gets it and puts it in reverse. How much harder can the car wash be?
I pulled in and I could instantly tell I was on my own. The secret was to pull up to the box of electronics who was going to ask me what I wanted (close but not too close). I picked the most expensive ‘Supreme’ (show me what you got!). To pay, you must use plastic and if it is a debit card and under $20 apparently there is no need for your pin (good thing because I couldn’t reach the keypad). I could barely extend my arm long enough to get the card in (the wrong direction first time). The electronic box just sits idle til you figure out what you did wrong. I was instructed via lights to ‘sit tight and wait for the truck in front of you to get done’ (alittle interpreting there). I got a chance to watch the verticle wands who were shooting various liquids out, depending of what you paid for. Once rinsed, you are instucted to ‘drive forward’. Once you get that far, there is a timer that tells you how much time is left. Oh, if a person only knew exactly how fast to move forward to be out exactly when your time runs out. If you don’t make it, I assume that some kind of boot comes out and kicks you the rest of the way. Straight ahead was the vacuums. It is not a pull thru so there is going to be some backing. It asks for $1. I happen to have 4 quarters, but alas once I deposited the last one I also discovered that I pulled too close to open my door wide enough to both get me out and unwind the wand and vacuum. Tick, tick tick – no time to move the car. This was awkward at best. If they haven’t figured out they need a video camera to film the awkward moves of the rookies, they are missing a great opportunity. Some film maker would surely pay for ‘awkward moments at the touchless car wash’.
You Tube, here I come!!!!!